Words of Wisdom
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected.
- Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.
- Dijon vu-the same mustard as before.
- Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
- I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
- I am having an out of money experience.
- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
- I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
- I don't get even, I get odder.
- I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
- I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
- I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
- I still miss my wives, but my aim is improving.
- If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
- My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
- Not afraid of heights-afraid of widths.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
- Stupidity got us into this mess-why can't it get us out?
- There are two rules for ultimate success in life:
- Never tell everything you know.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.